Confrontation from a counseling viewpoint can only happen after trust has been established. Trust comes when empathy has been given by the counselor, without judgment. William Crane says,
"A judging confrontation, unprepared form, may end any relationship which would make counseling possible. The person already feels guilty and ashamed, and to be judged and condemned rather than understood and accepted is nothing less than absolute rejection."
Our purpose in confronting people is to help them make better decisions for themselves, become more accepting of themselves and become more productive and less destructive in their lives.
Confrontation can be defined as a counselor pointing out a discrepancy between the counselee's perspective and their manner of viewing reality.
The best way to use confrontation is to use phrases such as, "I wonder if..."; or "could he be...?"; or "Is it possible?" or "How do you react to this perception?"
If you have built a trusting relationship with honesty and acceptance, the counselee is more likely to accept gentle confrontation from you.
-Adapted from The New Guide to Crisis and Trauma Counseling by Dr. H. Norman Wright
Listen intently. Hang on to people’s every word. Enjoy their jokes, feel their pain, be thrilled with their triumphs. Be their best friend.
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