Listening

We listen poorly when we:

• Refuse to listen.
• Pretend to listen.
• Listen without patience.
• Listen but do not understand.
• Listen without an adequate response.
• Interrupt.
• Let our minds wander.

How we can do a better job of listening:

• Be open-minded and willing to hear what someone has to say.
• Affirm the person who is speaking.
• Ask open-ended questions.
• Ask clarifying questions.
• Reflect back to them what they have said.
• Have an open body posture (arms relaxed, face the person, eye contact).
• Wait for them to finish speaking.
• Refuse to entertain thoughts of what you are going to say next before they have finished speaking.
• Allow silence before rushing in with a "quick fix."
• See the issues through their eyes - feel their pain.

(some of this is from The Good Listener by James E. Sullivan)